Confused Confucius spurned the monastic mountaintop for the world of work, moral conundrums, and mobile devices.
A world traveller and channel hopper for more than five decades this would be sage managed to squeeze open a tiny portal to the wisdom of the ages and most of what trickled through got stuck.
Fortunately a few pearls made it and made their way onto Confused Confucius as maxims for the modern world — incongruous idioms that might make you smile with amusement or grimace with confusion.
There are sayings on topics from relationships to retail that butt against the obligatory observations on human nature.
Sample a few on Confused Confucius or, better still, you will soon be able to buy the volumes and get a pearl at your bedside.
Either way, laugh and cry in equal measure.